A Journey of Courage and Endurance - Lumina by Landis Communities

Lumina by Landis is committed to walking alongside individuals and families facing dementia – offering compassionate support, training and education, and a person‑centered approach that ensures no one has to navigate this path alone. Jay and Ruth’s journey reflects exactly why Lumina exists. Their story shines a light on the challenges of brain change and highlights the understanding and dignity that Lumina seeks to expand for every family we serve. As you read their story, we invite you to see how experiences like theirs shape Lumina’s mission and inspire our work to bring hope and compassionate care to the dementia journey. Your gift helps create moments that matter for those living with dementia and their care partners.

Jay Martin, and his late wife, Ruth were married in 1968 after meeting at Kings View Hospital in Reedley, California. Ruth’s roots were in Indiana, while Jay’s were in Pennsylvania, so they made their way back to the east coast. Ruth’s career in nursing bloomed as she completed her Masters of Science in Nursing from Penn State. She became involved in the National Organization of Nurse Executives and the Pennsylvania Chapter during her nursing administration career. Jay served as a middle management, behind the scenes employee at Penn State, and then as the Conservation Administrator at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

Both of them were involved in humanitarian and religious organizations – from their home congregations, to the Mennonite Health Association, to Community Mennonite Church of Lancaster, to the Brethren/Mennonite Council (BMC) for LGBTQ+ interests, and more. Even in their retirement, they continued many of these involvements.

Friendly and caring, they were both open to new experiences, traveling, cooking, and bringing others into their home to entertain. Forging new paths and conquering challenges they faced, they weathered life’s storms with courage and love.

In the early 2000s, Ruth began encountering some health challenges, and while she and Jay continued to live life as fully as possible, things really began to shift in 2018.

“It’s hard to identify specifics looking back, but there were definitely changes,” Jay shared. “We began looking at retirement communities in Lancaster because we were both familiar with them. We moved into Landis Homes in 2019. Ruth’s health was changing. One time, she made some wrong turns on the way to State College for a conference. It happened a few other times, and she made the decision to stop driving. She was always realistic about the world and with herself. But these experiences alerted us both that things were changing…

The Doctor recommended Ruth be evaluated and she was. When she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease, it was devastating to us. She was a nurse and so bright and she knew what that meant. We were both people who deal in reality, but we made the best of it,” Jay said.

For a while, Ruth and Jay were able to continue living together in their apartment at Landis Homes. They kept entertaining friends and family and cooking together.

“Ruth had some falls and with each one, in hindsight, I can see that there were major changes each time. While I tried to let her be as independent as she could, I did begin to pick up doing certain things like managing her pills, which was a big deal for her to give up because as a former nurse, she was always able to do that herself. But living with it every day makes it hard to see that decline. When she had to move to healthcare, I was grateful for the staff who seemed to really understand her diagnosis. I felt supported by my close friends, our small group, and especially our church – they were amazing.

I wondered how long Ruth’s health would continue like that, because I knew she didn’t want to live that way. When she started receiving hospice care, it was hard on me. I was unsure she’d understand. Looking back, I’ve learned to be more compassionate with myself. I feel like I did the best that I could do, but there are parts that are still hard.

I’m grateful for the advice from others like, ‘don’t argue with her, be as compassionate as you can,’ things like that. And I’m grateful that she didn’t change personalities even as her brain change progressed. I had participated in some grief counseling with Hospice and Community Care with the newly bereaved and young kids, and I feel like that was very beneficial for me. The aspects of grief, understanding it, helped me cope with her loss. I am also very glad that I’m at Landis Homes. I have felt very supported through it all.”

Ruth passed away in June 2023. She left behind a legacy of caring for others, community service, inclusivity, adventure, and a deep commitment to Jay who shares her story now as a way to help others.

Learn About Giving to Lumina